Poetry By Rosie Copeland
Greetings, you’ve reached Hades
Greetings, you’ve reached Hades where you’ll spend eternity in the comfort you deserve. Dial 1 for the Elysium Fields. Dial 2 for the Asphodel Meadows. Dial 3 for Tartarus. You know who you are. Greetings, you’ve reached the Elysium Fields, your reward for leading an exemplary life. We can assure your every comfort here. Dial 1 to confirm your booking. We regret to inform you that due to a last minute influx of children fresh from the war zones and a busload of nuns we have filled all vacancies for the time being. Surely you understand we must give them precedence? Meanwhile, we can downgrade your booking to the Asphodel Meadows. Don’t fret. You’ll find almost all the comforts you were expecting in the Elysium Fields plus fields and fields of ghostly gray asphodels to lie in. Greetings, you’ve reached the Asphodel Meadows, the eternal home for the extraordinary ordinary. Dial 1 to confirm your booking. We regret to inform you that due to increasing tensions in the Middle East large numbers of civilians have filled all vacancies for the time being. What was that, sir? A politician you say? You’d trade your newborn for a month cavorting with nymphs amongst the asphodels? So it’s true: in death as in life. Here in Hades, under no circumstances I repeat, no circumstances will one soul be traded for another. No, we have somewhere far more appropriate lined up for you. Greetings, you’ve reached Tartarus. We’ve been expecting you.
Rosie Copeland is a New Zealand writer and artist. She is currently writing a novel for YA. Rosie completed writing papers at the IIML and belongs to several writing groups. Mayhem, Reading Room, Tarot have published her work, and she has also been a finalist in several poetry and fiction competitions in NZ. She has also poetry published in the USA and several NZ anthologies.