Poetry by Jonathan Humble

Photo by Oakley Smith on Unsplash

Listen to a reading of this poem by Jonathan:

Pheasant Surprise

Bumbling by a copse, 
I’m elsewhere in a head of cotton wool,
a glazed gaze on the field edge, 
hardly registering the passing of trees.

Your guttural eruption did me in,
ended this default meditation 
as would a wet slap,
tested my eco-credentials 
to an unsatisfactory conclusion.

You over-dressed tea cosy of a gamebird.
Do you not know I have a condition?

All flapping and flustered
with wattles rightly blushing, 
caught out of place in the margins,
sewn-on eyes permanently startled;

I expect your wife despairs, 
with your extravagant sartorial taste, 
your Bullingdon brash ways, 
carousing late summer evenings away,
in tail-feathered finery,
variegated tweed waistcoat
and blue silk cravat.

She has my sympathies,
you’d be hell to live with,

you noisy ... pheasant.

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Jonathan Humble lives in Cumbria. Collections of his poetry (My Camel’s Name Is Brian and Fledge) were published by TMB Books and Maytree Press in 2015 and 2020. A third collection (Derek and the Eternally Perfect Petunia Bed) will be out in 2024. He edits The Dirigible Balloon and has delivered poetry workshops for Wordsworth Grasmere. He appeared as the Poet in a Fridge for Radio Cumbria during the BBC Contains Strong Language Festival in Carlisle. His poems Masterclass and This Work Is Done were chosen in 2022 and 2023 as Best Poems on The Milk House website.